Encounters with Silence, Karl Rahner

Yes, School is over for the Summer...which means that I can get caught up on some blogging! Here are some favorite quotes from contemplative Karl Rahner as found in his book, Encounters with Silence.

           But when I love You, when I manage to break out of the narrow circle of self and leave behind the restless agony of unanswered questions, when my blinded eyes no longer look merely from afar and from the outside upon Your unapproachable brightness, and much more when You Yourself, O Incomprehensible One, have become through love the inmost center of my life, then I can bury myself entirely in You, O mysterious God, and with myself all my questions.                            p.9

           Grant, O Infinite God, that I may ever cling fast to Jesus Christ, my Lord. Let His heart reveal to me how You are disposed toward me. I shall look upon His heart when I desire to know Who You are. The eye of my mind is blinded whenever it looks only at Your Infinity, in which You are totally present in each and every aspect at once. Then I am surrounded by the darkness of Your unboundedness, which is harsher than all my earthly nights. But instead I shall gaze upon His human heart, O God of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and then shall be sure that You love me.                        p.17

           Thanks to Your mercy, O Infinite God, I know something about You not only through concepts and words, but through experience. I have actually known You through living contact; I have met You in joy and suffering. For You are the first and the last experience of my life. Yes, really You Yourself, not just a concept of You, not just the name which we ourselves have given You!

            You have seized me; I have not “grasped” You. You have transformed my being right down to its very last roots and made me a sharer in Your own Being and Life. You have given me Yourself, not just a distane, fuzzy report of Yourself in human words. And that’s why I can never forget You, because You have become the very center of my being.                                                            p.30-31                                                                                      

The Problem of God’s Silence

That must be the way it is, since You are the last answer, even though incomprehensible, to all the questions of my heart. I know why You are silent: Your silence is the framework of my faith, the boundless space where my love finds the strength to believe in Your love.

            If it were all perfectly evident to me here on earth, if You love of me were so manifest that I could ask no more anxious questions about it, if You had made absolutely crystal clear the most important thing about me, namely, that I am someone loved by You, how then could I prove the daring courage and fidelity of my love? How could I even have such love? How could I lift myself up in the ecstasy of faith and charity, and transport myself out of this world into Your world, into Your Heart?

            Your love has hidden itself in silence, so that my love can reveal itself in faith. You have left me, so that I can discover You. If You were with me, then in my search for You I should always discover only myself. But I must go out of myself, if I am to find You – and find You there, where You can be Yourself.                                                                                                                    p.56

The Struggle with Being an Imperfect Witness

And that is precisely the burden of my life. For look, Lord: even when I announce Your pure truth, I’m still preaching my own narrowness and mediocrity along with it. I’m still presenting myself, the "average man”. How can I bring my hearers to distinguish between You and me in the frightful mixture of You and me that I call my sermon? How can I reach then to take Your word to their heart, and forget me, the preacher?

I want to be a transmitter of your light, and to do so, I must nourish it with the oil of my life. And yet I can’t avoid placing myself before the lantern, coming between Your light and the searching eyes of my fellow men. I seem to be good for nothing at all but making the already dark shadows of this world even darker and longer.

…Any grace that goes out from me is Your grace. Whatever of mine goes out of me is nothing, only a hindrance or, at best, a means You employ to test my fellow men, to see whether their instinctive love can recognize You, even when You disguise Yourself, almost beyond all recognition, by appearing to them in me.                                                                                                        p.74

My personal note: I'm sharing these thoughts as a Christian artist because the life of any artist is an interior one. Dealing with self is a must. Distinguishing between soul and ego is essential (which comes from another book by Steven Pressfield...which I will share about in a future post); or as the Bible puts it: between spirit and flesh. If things are not right internally, or if one's relationship with God is unstable, then the creative process is hindered. 

Spiritual darkness, God's silence, or His elusiveness have to be understood in the language of faith. Because art comes from inside, the Christian artist is a preacher; a witness to the message inside...no matter how simple or complex that message might be (eg, "The sky is beautiful", etc.). Not every Christian, or artist for that matter, struggles with the internal world, but those artists who do are being called to a prophetic life. And it's a dangerous journey...even spiritually deadly.

End of the School Year

 Well, I had to set aside any major art production while making it through this first year of teaching full time. This piece was an old "unfinished" abstraction left over from my Paducah days.

 This will be one of the last large panels on which I'll be working. It was an attempt to revive a "water current" series from quite a while back.

However, this piece represents my new direction: simple "excavation" series (multiple layers of plaster, tempera paint, and dyes built up and sanded down) with layers of epoxy resin poured over the top. Each layer of resin has images and artifacts imbedded into it. I've tried to print on tissue paper to create a transparent or translucent fiber that disappears into the resin. Also, the dried resin layer readily accepts acrylic paint.

The only downside is trapped air bubbles released from small objects. Sweeping the surface with a propane torch has to be done a few times while the resin is settling in order to eliminate those air bubbles.

Art in the Dark

Okay, I've been delinquent in keeping up with these posts! I have been creating some work, but I haven't been pleased with any of it. Just lacking inspiration, partly due to my focus on teaching these days.

This image goes back to a series I had done 20 years ago. Kind of a 50's retro abstract expressionism. As with 20 years ago, I glazed with oils over the sealed surface in an effort to create form and depth.

I used one of my mega bike tour photos from over in Italy as inspiration for this Newfresco. I glazed with acrylics where needed. There was a part that did not come through well after the initial sanding and, after and attempted repair, I pretty much gave up on the piece. Repair jobs with this sort of medium are rarely successful.

This is another reaching back into the early years of my production. I had done several still life pieces like this and they all sold. It's not like I need to sell something, I was simply trying to tap into an inspiration from the past.

Lastly, I thought that I would try a little wildlife image. Nothing special, had a old small frame with a little piece of lauan and there's a parrot! A little too "cartoonish" for me, but some of my students liked it.
I do have more work under way and will be using up some of my old epoxy resin material to encase these new "excavation" series pieces. I should have something to  show for it in a month. So, until then...it's more "art in the dark".

In the CHCS Art Room

        As I mentioned last time, I didn't expect to have much time to produce any new pieces of art during the transition to Joplin, nor during the first couple of months of acclamation back to full time teaching. So, here a couple of shots of the classroom space.     

I had an interesting visitor to the classroom one day (Chey's pig) who was kept quiet and happy in the storage room.

I also wanted to include a few examples of student work:

Claire's 2 point forms in space

Rosie's art conversion portrait

 

Sarah's art conversion portrait

Paul's positive/negative collage

And here's a group shot of my Art Appreciation Class (cupcake party for Sarah's Birthday!).

Lessons From "Moses at the Sea": Believing God for the Impossible.

Of course, I need to show you the finished product (although it was completed earlier in the month). The process was a simple matter of using pure pigment and a gloss acrylic medium through direct painting and glazing. 

The problem I encountered was in maintaining a consistent perspective: the landscape, as divided by Moses' body, has a different perspective and proportion in each section. I wanted to show the expanse of the 2 million plus Hebrew people, while still showing some detail on the more distant Egyptian army (I thought that by including the cliff, even more separation would be suggested). And the water needed a more prominent part (to balance out the Shekinah pillar and dark sky) which forced a much higher vantage point than the other side with the crowd. If I were not in the hectic process of moving, I would have tried to resolve the matter. But, I decided to let composition win the debate and left it at that. If anything, I can explain the problem away by saying that the out of sync perspective helps to point out the multifaceted pressures heaped upon Moses...so, there!

I also wanted to share with you this image of another icon which I painted much earlier this year as a commission for a friend. I forgot to take a picture of it after its completion, so ended up taking care of that with another visit to its new home.

Jean, the friend who hired me to make the fresco, loves gardening and wanted the icon to represent St. Fiacre: the "real" patron saint of gardeners! She expressed great frustration with the fact that so many gardens have statues of St. Francis in them, when he is NOT the legitimate patron saint of gardeners!

As with all stories about the famous saints, there are some very interesting legends associated with St. Fiacre. The most tenable is the story that he used herbs to help cure people of their ailments. In general, he was a compassionate man who loved people more than he did plants.

One of the more spectacular stories is that he tilled a huge garden in a matter of a few hours by merely dragging his staff over the dirt. I guess, if we're talking about Moses believing God for the impossible, we shouldn't be surprised when miracles happen in answer to prayer and faith.

My next installment will probably have something to do with my new art teaching job in Missouri.

Lessons From Moses at the Sea: Dealing with Crisis

     I've continued with the second and some third layer fill. Detail is missing at this point and will be painted over the sealed surface as will the glazing.

     At this point, because the technical information will mostly be repetition, I want to address some of the theology and faith for living message from this piece. Part of the beauty of the Bible is how it can shed light into and relate so personally with our world. It deals with the raw issues of life and reveals a pattern of God's dealing with His people (all believers in the Messiah/Christ).
     This particular story comes from chapter 14 of Exodus and is set up by the dramatic deliverance of the Hebrews from their captivity at the hands of Pharaoh. The plagues have already taken place, the first Passover has been observed, and the Hebrews have begun their exodus out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. However, at this juncture there was a most disturbing crisis of faith for Moses and his people.

More 2nd and 3rd layer fill with texture and
cross structural combing. At this point you can
see how the original squirt line is being buried.

     God lead them with a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night. But He lead them to the edge of the Red Sea (no, not the Sea of Reeds!) and turned the pillar of cloud/fire behind them to act as a barrier to the pursuing army of the Egyptians. Add to that the mountains that blocked the people off from any escape and you've got a picture of the dilemma.
     I took the liberty to show Joshua and some of the levite guards protecting Moses from the angry mob while Moses is franticly considering his options.
     Freeze it right there! Can you relate at all to such a situation? Have you ever felt trapped; hemmed in on all sides with no way out? You've questioned the promises of God and even His character. Yes, God lead you into this crisis situation! But how could He do that to me? I thought that God loved me! Why would He deliver me from a horrible life of bondage and then throw me into something even worse?
     Wow, doesn't sound like your best life now! Beyond corrupted TV preachers, running to 1 Corinthians 10:13 doesn't do any good either. What I think is "too much" is never the same as what God thinks is just right to produce in me mature faith and Christ-likeness. In fact, we should expect to struggle through such times of trial (1 Peter 4:12) and discipline (Hebrews 12:4-11); it's the only way that lasting fruit will be produced through us (John 15:2f).
     (to be continued...)

A Closing Word on the Process

     After the final layers are added and dry, the surface must be carefully sanded down to reveal that original squirt line. Of course, there's a danger of sanding too much and going down to the prime coat or worse yet, the wood support. I did the former in a small section of the sky above the mountains and had to attempt a patch job (won't matter too much there due to the darker tones).
     I also wanted to show a side by side contrast between that sanded surface to the left and the sealed surface to the right. The polycrylic not only protects the finished piece from UV rays, but it intensifies the colors in the plaster. Most importantly, that poly seal will allow for application of either acrylic or oil paint if any detail or glazing is desired on such a piece. Without sealing in some way, the paint will just flake off in the years to come...as artists in the Middle Ages discovered (the traditional compound for sealing the plaster surface in preparation for oil paint was made up of 1/3 linseed oil, 1/3 turpentine, and 1/3 Damar varnish).
   

Technical Steps on "Moses at the Sea"

      I will take you through another one of my creations. This one is a commission for a former colleague of mine. The denotation is the story of when Moses and the Hebrews were backed up to the Red Sea, with mountains on one side, the Egyptian army on the other, and the Shekinah pillar of cloud/fire as a guide and protection.

     This first stage shows the pre-mounted and primed lauan with a preliminary sketch and squirted line drawing. The lauan has to be sized with a cement adhesive (commonly used in preparation for stucco application) before receiving a thin layer of plaster compound as a primer. If I'm going to create an abstract piece that requires no sketch, I will further prepare the surface by combing that thin layer of primer (that allows for textured surface that will grab subsequent layers of plaster). 

     The squirted line comes in various pigments depending on local color. After this line has dried and is lightly sanded, it acts as not only a boarder for filling shapes or areas, but it creates a bead which allows for a consistent level of material.

     I begin to fill in some of those spaces with premixed plaster and pigment (tempera paint). For more organic areas, I keep the mixing of the material to a minimum. This makes for a more mottled look in a space for, let's say, the mountains. 

     Powdered fabric dye is sprinkled over the wet plaster in some areas for additional visual texture. Combing lines are incorporated to a) add even more texture, b) create space for the third and maybe fourth layers of material, and c) suggest form through structural lines.

     The window allowing for manipulation of the material is wide: about 30-40 minutes (if in a relatively cool room and away from direct sunlight). If additional texture is desired, then specific layers can be exposed to direct sunlight at different times of the day and for particular periods of time.

     Also, when doing a more representational piece like this one, some care needs to be exercised in filling alternating spaces. This just keeps the pigments from "contaminating" adjacent areas (overflow can be easily cleaned up on a dry surface).

     In this example, you can see the third layer where it has been added to the previous layer combing lines. The pigment for that layer is typically darker, for the purpose of contrast and conveying shaded planes.

     You can see the mixing spot where I blend the plaster and tempera paint for smaller spaces. A plastic lid serves as a palette for larger amounts, and a margarine bowl for still larger quantities.

     (continued next month)